Andy Taylor never made that kinda money

"Who knowed?" Andy Taylor said during an interview at Mayberry Manor Retirement Home. "Here I was doing the best I could with only one patrol car between me and Barney, and only one bullet for Barney's gun, just two jail cells — one of the most likely occupied by Otis. Who knowed I coulda been makin' six figures like they pay the High Sheriff down to Wilson County.

"Here I find out Shurf Gay's makin' a hunderd 'n forty-four thousand a year, but I'm just ashamed to say what a paltry little salary I made when I was sheriffin'. I can tell you it won't much, though. Why, I didn't even have air conditioning in my house. Had to sit out on the front porch in the evening to get cool and live with my aunt to make ends meet. And when I took Opie fishing in Myers Lake, we didn't have no fancy rod 'n' reel. We had an ol' bamboo pole with a string and a hook on the end.

"If'n I'd been makin' $144,000 a year, I coulda give some of it to my deputy. Barney mighta been able to afford better accommodations when he took off for Raleigh on the weekend. He wouldena had to stay at the YMCA. He coulda got hisself a room at the Marriott if'n he was makin' a third what the shurf in Wilson's a-making.

"Now, I understand that Shurf Gay's been in office a long time, and those annual raises, they tend to add up after awhile, but it still don't seem quite right that he was makin' that kinda money while I was just strugglin' along. I mean, in Mayberry, we didn't have no big black SUVs or SWAT teams or nothin'. It was just Barney and me. Shoot, we didn't even have drug dog, not that drugs were any kinda problem in Mayberry, you understand, but we mighta liked havin' a dog to tag along with ol' Barn.

"I understand that sheriff's salary cannot be reduced by the county board during an election year, and I guess that's reasonable. If I was a younger man, I might want to move to Wilson and file for that high-payin' job myself. But I'm doin' all right here at the Manor, so I reckon I'll stay here. I hear the state Highway Patrol's lookin' for a new commander, and that would be a fine job. However, it prob'ly wouldn't pay as good as sheriff of Wilson."