Marriage loses ground from unexpected angle

That marriage is in trouble is no surprise — a pundit recently commented that only gays appear to be interested in getting married these days — but the fact that marriage is in trouble among traditionally conservative, working-class Americans is a bit of a shock. This "Talk of the Nation" report took me by surprise Monday. A new study indicates that Middle Americans, the majority of the population who have high school degrees but no college diplomas, are falling away from marriage. More and more Americans are not just "living together" out of wedlock but raising children, too, and, essentially, thumbing their noses at what was once a societal mandate — that marriage would come before child-rearing.

And they're perfectly happy with the new arrangement, and society seems, at worst, indifferent to the shift in mores. The callers to "Talk of the Nation" are very much like some of the callers I heard from when I was writing for a newspaper and wrote a column about the decline of marriage. The gist of my callers' argument was: We've seen marriages fall apart, and we want no part of it. It's nobody's business if we have children without being married.

One of the possible reasons "Talk of the Nation" offered for this revolution is the portrayal of marriage in popular media. Today's television series (and I'll have to take their word for this because I don't watch these shows) do not extol marriage. Current situation comedies and "reality shows" portray divorced pairs, stepchildren, unwed moms, unwed dads, unhappy married couples, etc., etc. That's a seismic shift from the way families were portrayed a generation ago on "Father Knows Best," "The Waltons," "The Dick Van Dyke Show," "Cosby" and other popular shows. Media portrayals do affect culture and ethical standards.

If there is any glimmer of hope in this report, it is the revelation that among college-educated professionals, marriage is more popular and marriages are more stable than was the case a generation ago. If what Karl Marx called the "intelligentsia" are actually opinion leaders, perhaps the Silent Majority of Middle America will come around, led by the better-educated. But I've seen nothing in recent years to make me think the popular majority are following the lead of the better-educated or better-informed. On the contrary, it seems more likely that we will all be dismantled to the lowest common denominator of ethics, compassion, responsibility and restraint.