Besides the money, you miss the friendships

Enforced idleness has a downside (make that another downside) besides lack of income. Folks who are laid off miss the workplace and their co-workers almost as much as they miss a paycheck.

After four months without a job, I'm beginning to understand why so many retirees regret their decision to retire or sink into depression and despair. I also understand better why stay-at-home moms, especially those who had been in the workplace before, hunger for adult conversation and contact. I'm identifying with those feelings. After spending most of my days quietly alone, conversing only with the dog, I find myself welcoming opportunities to interact with other people.

Although my Myers-Briggs personality type is introverted and I like working independently, the thing I miss the most about not having a job is the camaraderie of the workplace. We spend our working lives spending eight hours a day or more (sometimes much more) in the company of co-workers. We see more of them than we do of our spouses or children or neighbors. Only a determined recluse can avoid getting to know intimate details of their lives and sharing his own intimate thoughts, fears and worries. Your friends at work may not be your closest friends, but they are the friends you see most frequently and for the longest periods. High school and college buddies, whose friendships we celebrate at decennial reunions, cannot compare to work colleagues for long-term relationships.

A good working environment with caring, sympathetic colleagues is a barrier against mental illness, better than any occupational therapist or counselor. In stressful, difficult workplaces, co-workers often lean on each other and gain strength through shared worries and encouragement. Misery does love company, and there are few places more miserable than a stressful, frustrating workplace.

Whether your workplace is a joyful, progressive retreat or a despised, frustrating grind, you share it with others, spending the bulk of your waking hours with co-workers who understand better than anyone the joys and despairs you feel.

"Work to live; don't live to work," the sage advice goes, but you cannot avoid living in and through your work because it consumes so much of your time. And when it's over, you will miss the contact, the conversations, the mutual caring and sharing.