Ten years after being laid off

Ten years ago this week, my three-decade career as a newspaper editor came to an abrupt halt. My boss, the publisher, came into my office and told me he had to "let you go." My layoff was one of dozens at that newspaper and one of many thousands nationwide as newspapers across the country, shaken by steep drops in advertising revenue and falling circulation, shed workers en masse.

My immediate reaction was, "I'll lose my house," which we had moved into just five years before. I had been determined to pay off the 15-year mortgage in 12 years so that I could plan to retire debt-free. That now seemed impossible.

My second thought was, "I will not be bitter." It was a financial decision — one that could have been handled differently but it was out of my control. Getting angry or holding a grudge would only hurt me, not those who were casting me adrift after 29 years at the paper.

My immediate concern was surviving until I could find another job. It was obvious that I would need to change careers or move to another city — or both. My wife and I quickly decided that it made no sense for both of us to seek new jobs in an unfamiliar city. She had a good job that she enjoyed with a company that treated her well. It would be unfair to make her change jobs because I was laid off. I searched for jobs related to journalism — teaching, public relations, writing/editing services — as well as jobs unrelated to the work I had done before. I considered commuting to jobs in Raleigh and Clayton. I was flexible in my goals. I searched diligently for work while collecting a few months' severance pay followed by unemployment insurance. But finding a new job when you're 59 years old is nearly impossible. Age discrimination in hiring is illegal, but try to prove you were discriminated against. I was told that I had a good claim that my layoff resulted from age discrimination (I was replaced by a younger man), but I was also advised to be prepared for devoting my life to the discrimination lawsuit for at least 10 years. 

No thanks. I kept job hunting. I remained unemployed for a year and became deeply depressed at times and frustrated. I finally landed a job managing a nonprofit's Wilson office, at about half my newspaper salary.

In the past 10 years, I have settled into a new career, changed jobs to manage a second nonprofit and quit thinking about ideas for news stories, how to cover public issues and how to redesign newspapers' business strategy to make newspapers profitable again. I am still a voracious reader of news and follower of political issues. I'm only a spectator now, and that is fine. I rarely see or think about the friends I knew in newspapers across the state. I've closed that door behind me. A year ago, I retired, began collecting Social Security and signed up for Medicare.

I read; I write a little; I work at maintaining our house, which we didn't lose after all (the state's unemployment insurance provided just enough to pay the mortgage, and my wife's salary covered our other expenses). I'm a little disappointed that I didn't get to close out my newspaper career on my own terms, but nothing in life is guaranteed. I'm happy where I am now, and I am grateful every day for the way things have turned out.