'The news is not good'

"The news is not good," my wife said, and I stood in the driveway holding her -- the only thing you can do about such news. But if the news was not good, it would be hard to discern the negativity from the face of the man whom the news was about. In his hospital room an hour later, her father played the role of the proud host, joyful to see his children and his wife gathered around his bed. That the occasion was not one for joyful celebration could not be determined by the mood in the room, the mood set determinedly by the 88-year-old man recuperating from surgery.

The surgery was not as extensive as had been planned. The surgeon looked inside and determined that removing diseased organs would not be worthwhile. Too many organs were affected; the cancer that had been battled initially in his prostate years ago had dealt out its deadly spores, colonizing other body parts, establishing its ramparts and proclaiming its conquest. Further battles would be futile.

To say that he took the news with calm equanimity would not do justice to the patient's genuine smiles and gratitude for all who gathered around him Monday night. He was, as always, the role model who would exemplify for his adult children and others around him resolute calm in the face of adversity and tragedy. He seemed oblivious to the tubes in his body and the digital displays of modern medicine all around him and most certainly uncomplaining about what must have been pain around his incision. The anesthesia could not dull the sharpness of his mind or the optimism of his emotions.

Frequently in the nearly 38 years since I married his daughter, I have been in awe of this man as he stoically faced the deaths of his wife, mother, sister, brother and a multitude of friends. His calmness, confidence and optimism set the tone for the entire family and modeled a Christian perspective on life and death, fortune and misfortune. Now he faces his final six months or couple of years, give or take, with the same confident optimism he had always displayed. He will be certain that his final years will not be lived in despair but in joyful celebration of a life that was prepared for death whenever it might come and that inspired others to live life as it should be lived.