Unemployment is frustrating and discouraging

I guess I'm not very good at this. The "this" is being unemployed. Before my current idleness, I had spent no more than a couple of weeks out of work, and that longest previous period came when I quit a job, decided not to take an offer and was jobless until taking a temporary position before settling on a permanent job.

I spent hours yesterday trying to file an online claim for unemployment and kept running into roadblocks. The online form would not allow me to enter my veteran's status. I could have lied on the form and stated I am not a veteran, but falsifying an unemployment form is a criminal offense. I kept trying to enter the accurate information, and the web site kept rejecting it until finally the whole thing just locked up. In the end (this was after dinner last night), it turned out to be a problem with my browser. Entering the same information on a Windows-based browser allowed me to complete the application without a problem.

So now, for the first time in my life, I have signed up for unemployment. I have joined the statistics of around 2.6 million Americans who were laid off in 2008 and still can't find a job. There's no shame in claiming unemployment, everyone says, but there is a high degree of frustration. Even when you're staying busy, as I am (I have three meetings to attend today involving charitable groups and had one meeting yesterday), the lack of routine and purpose is disappointing.

This was a discouraging week. I found out I was not selected for a position I had held out some genuine hope for, and I was informed that becoming certified to teach in public schools would require more college courses than I had anticipated. I managed to major in English without taking a grammar course, so now, after 30-plus years of correcting the grammatical errors of young (and some not-so-young) reporters and having taught English composition at the college level, I have to take a grammar course. A half-blind e-mail application for a rare advertised writing/editing position within commuting distance got no response.

This discouragement even made me think twice about my decision to limit my job search to the Wilson area and to leave newspapers. A couple of intriguing editor positions were open in cities I knew something about, but each would require relocation. My wife brought me back to reality: It's bad enough that I have to start over; it would be even worse if both of us had to start over.

So here I am, reliant, at least for a few months, on what the British call "the dole." It's an entitlement, a safety net, a transitioning device. I'm grateful for it (though I haven't actually received anything yet), but I'd rather be working. I would have preferred to scrape the ice off my windshield this morning and to drive, shivering, to the office as the sun rose and put in a good day's work at some useful, honorable profession. In the words of the Employment Security Commission, I am available for and actively seeking work.