Tuesday, March 24, 2009

By all means, hold parents responsible

The Wilson Police Department wants to start holding parents responsible for the behaviors of their children. What a revolutionary thought! The Wilson Daily Times gave prominent play to comments by Officer Reggie Smith that police would find the parents of children roaming the streets in the wee hours and hold the parents responsible.
Unfortunately, we've heard these kinds of promises before, and the problem never seems to get any better. Former Police Chief Willie Williams made "community policing," police visibility and enforcement of minor offenses key parts of his success in reducing crime statistics. Like Officer Smith, Williams had been appalled by the sight of small children wandering the streets at night. Most Wilson residents, it seems, have seen this phenomenon, either in their own neighborhoods or along major thoroughfares. Children as young a preschool can be seen late at night wandering around without any adult in sight. Police Chief Harry Tyson made a public appeal last year for parental assistance in caring for and disciplining children.
Smith says parents will be held responsible. Good! They should be held responsible. But Smith was vague in his speech, according the the Daily Times, about just what the police would do. Let me suggest this: Don't take the children home and talk to the parents; charge the parents with child neglect. If letting a 7-year-old wander the streets at midnight isn't child neglect, I don't know what is.
The problem with holding parents responsible is that parents who let their children wander at night are, by definition, irresponsible. In fact, they may be unfit to be parents, and they are unlikely to respect the police department or social workers who are looking out for the best interests of their children. Many of these parents are single mothers who began birthing babies before they could drive. Many have chips on their shoulders and negative attitudes toward law enforcement, courts, schools and society in general. These are the parents who terrorize teachers who dare to discipline their misbehaving children and who beg judges not to send their babies to prison.
By all means, hold parents responsible for their children. Hold them responsible for setting these children off on their one-way path from neglect to gangs to prison.
Parents are the key to a civilized society, and we are, sadly, paying the price for policies and attitudes that make parenting nothing more than a biological act.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, falling back on cookie-cutter reactionary stereotypes doesn't help the situation either.

The 'birthing babies before they can drive' thing is a good example. What's next in the public's rhetoric? Castration? Chinese birth control? Come to think of it, didn't we recently have a VP candidate's daughter in a similar light? Although it was different. She has money (what this entire problem is based on), white and was going to marry the father. Past tense.

Think of a scenario such as a single mom who works three jobs to take care of those kids. Now, when you see her at the store and her kid is acting up, do we assume she is one of these "unfit to be parents" moms? Honey, she is trying, and may or may not succeed. She's worn out. Are we to tell her she shouldn't have had kids?

I used to laugh when I would hear people using what I call the "Escalade theory". Those that assume all people of color who drive them are welfare moms or drug dealers. Yet, when they see that blonde lady in hers, what do they think? She works for it!? Personally, I think something else.

We all tend to assume. It's being aware of it that makes the difference.

Just as some parents undoubtedly set these bad examples you state. Others perpetuate and hand down to their children their own brand of negative connotations, biases and stereotypes.

Anonymous said...

....blondes do have more fun! And 9 times out of 10 they WORK for what they have in life!