A marriage that defies the odds

The wedding 39 years ago today could hardly have been less promising. He was a month shy of completing a college degree, and the omen of a low draft number was hanging over his head. She would give up her collegiate ambitions and sublimate her goals to his. They had known each other only a few months. Few would have bet on the longevity of their relationship.

But there was more there than the outward appearances would have shown. "Do you believe in a love at first sight?" the Beatles had sung just a few years before, and neither of this couple would have replied positively. Yet something had clicked between them when they first met. Within days or weeks, they knew. They just knew. They could spend their life — not lives; one singular life — together and be very happy. Or they could spend their lives separately and be miserable.

Here is what the odds that sunny April day that ended in thunderstorms didn't show: A good marriage is the embodiment of divine grace — an undeserved favor. Two people grow into the realization that they don't deserve each other but that they are better as one than they could ever be apart. Now that marriage that began so uncertainly has lasted twice as long as she had lived up to that Friday afternoon in 1971. Today is a wedding anniversary, but it is also the birthday celebration of a new life, one far better and far longer than I could have imagined 39 years ago. We have reared children and welcomed grandchildren; we have survived loss and disappointment; we have comforted each other; we have encouraged each other. We have occasionally disagreed but never fought.

"Grow old along with me" said Elizabeth Barrett Browning, and we have done that. Today, 39 years into this new life, I can only hope to have many more years of sharing a life with the woman who made me whole.