Ten years after being laid off

Ten years ago this week, my three-decade career as a newspaper editor came to an abrupt halt. My boss, the publisher, came into my office and told me he had to "let you go." My layoff was one of dozens at that newspaper and one of many thousands nationwide as newspapers across the country, shaken by steep drops in advertising revenue and falling circulation, shed workers en masse.

My immediate reaction was, "I'll lose my house," which we had moved into just five years before. I had been determined to pay off the 15-year mortgage in 12 years so that I could plan to retire debt-free. That now seemed impossible.

My second thought was, "I will not be bitter." It was a financial decision — one that could have been handled differently but it was out of my control. Getting angry or holding a grudge would only hurt me, not those who were casting me adrift after 29 years at the paper.

My immediate concern was surviving until I could find another job. It was obvious that I would need to change careers or move to another city — or both. My wife and I quickly decided that it made no sense for both of us to seek new jobs in an unfamiliar city. She had a good job that she enjoyed with a company that treated her well. It would be unfair to make her change jobs because I was laid off. I searched for jobs related to journalism — teaching, public relations, writing/editing services — as well as jobs unrelated to the work I had done before. I considered commuting to jobs in Raleigh and Clayton. I was flexible in my goals. I searched diligently for work while collecting a few months' severance pay followed by unemployment insurance. But finding a new job when you're 59 years old is nearly impossible. Age discrimination in hiring is illegal, but try to prove you were discriminated against. I was told that I had a good claim that my layoff resulted from age discrimination (I was replaced by a younger man), but I was also advised to be prepared for devoting my life to the discrimination lawsuit for at least 10 years. 

No thanks. I kept job hunting. I remained unemployed for a year and became deeply depressed at times and frustrated. I finally landed a job managing a nonprofit's Wilson office, at about half my newspaper salary.

In the past 10 years, I have settled into a new career, changed jobs to manage a second nonprofit and quit thinking about ideas for news stories, how to cover public issues and how to redesign newspapers' business strategy to make newspapers profitable again. I am still a voracious reader of news and follower of political issues. I'm only a spectator now, and that is fine. I rarely see or think about the friends I knew in newspapers across the state. I've closed that door behind me. A year ago, I retired, began collecting Social Security and signed up for Medicare.

I read; I write a little; I work at maintaining our house, which we didn't lose after all (the state's unemployment insurance provided just enough to pay the mortgage, and my wife's salary covered our other expenses). I'm a little disappointed that I didn't get to close out my newspaper career on my own terms, but nothing in life is guaranteed. I'm happy where I am now, and I am grateful every day for the way things have turned out. 

Legislators are picking on the unemployed

The News & Observer's Rob Christiansen took state legislators to task today over their dismantling of state unemployment benefits. Christiansen's column recounts the General Assembly's deep cuts in unemployment benefits following the Great Recession, leaving laid-off workers little cushion when they unexpectedly and through no fault of their own lose their jobs. The state had built up a big debt to the federal government for the benefits paid out when the state's unemployment rate soared after the 2008-09 financial collapse. The feds had to be repaid, but legislators put all the burden of that repayment on defenseless laid-off workers. Legislators cut the size of benefits designed to let workers put food on the table and keep their homes when the economy collapses beneath them. They also cut the length of time the unemployed can receive benefits, from 26 weeks to between 12 and 20 weeks. And then they made it harder for our laid off neighbors to remain eligible for benefits. Instead of documenting two job-seeking efforts per week, the new rules require five job applications per week.

Left nearly unscathed were the businesses that pay the unemployment tax. North Carolina's unemployment tax was among the lowest in the nation, which was one reason the state ran out of money when tens of thousands lost their jobs. The low tax rate was raised just a pinch so as not to burden businesses or their owners.

Legislators' actions suggest that they consider unemployed North Carolinians shiftless shirkers who are enjoying the time off from work while the state provides for them. Anyone who has been unemployed or who have been close to workers who've lost their jobs know that isn't the case. People who are fired for cause cannot receive unemployment. Only those who lost their jobs through no fault of their own are eligible. In a volatile economy, things happen. Downturns make it impractical to keep the number of employees a business once needed. Whole sectors of the economy disappear. Think about the video store business or newspaper business or the local hardware store when a Walmart moves next door.

Hard-working North Carolinians need an opportunity to make a transition to another job, maybe even another line of work. It takes time, especially in a deep recession, to find a job. Workers who cannot afford to move to a distant job have an even harder time. You can only commute so far.

I know the feeling. I was unemployed for a year after the newspaper I worked for laid off close to half its staff. Without unemployment benefits, I might have lost my home. I was fortunate that I had a working spouse and savings for emergencies such as a layoff. But I didn't lay around. I searched for jobs. I pursued jobs that were outside my field of knowledge and comfort level, but I made the effort. I wanted to work. I continued to get up at 5:30 each morning and stayed busy. I caught up on home repair tasks. I volunteered. I did a lot of writing. I tried to develop a home business but didn't get very far. I investigated getting certified as a lateral-entry public school teacher. I did all that I could to find work but was still off payrolls for a year before I landed a job paying about half my previous salary. Unemployment benefits got me through.

I also experienced the despair and depression common among the unemployed — the feeling of worthlessness, of being unable to support myself and my family, of failure. Unemployment hits you emotionally as well as financially.

Legislators who want to punish North Carolinians because they've lost a job just don't understand what it means to lose a job. They want to hit good men and women when they're down and helpless.

Job applicant shows why unemployment remains high

The hefty young man approached me as I rounded the corner in the hallway to my office.

"That hiring place, they not here no more?" he asked.

"You mean The Budd Group (a human resources agency with an office next to mine)?" I answered. He was standing beside the door with the sign noting "The Budd Group." He nodded.

"They closed?" he asked.

"Their schedule is on the door," I said, pointing to the sign about four feet away. I looked at the sign. "It says they're closed today."

"When they gonna be open?" he asked.

The schedule on the door gave hours for the next day. I pointed it out to him, and he walked away.

I see quite a few job seekers coming down the hallway, looking for a job. Sometimes, they will stick their head in my office to ask about jobs when the HR folks next door are not in. Many of them, but not all, are in the same classification as the young man with all the questions — clad in baggy shorts and a T-shirt, a classic "dress for success" style — and lacking in basic grammar and speaking skills.

In a city with chronic unemployment that often runs nearly double the statewide jobless rate but with vacancies that can't be filled at major high-tech industries, my hallway conversationalist is an example of why so many are jobless and so many quality jobs go unfilled.

Education is the key, politicians keep saying, and it's true. But education begins long before kindergarten. Learning to speak clearly with correct grammar begins early in life, and so does the habit of ungrammatical, slurred half-sentences. Reading — such as reading that sign on the office door — is an essential skill that too many dropouts never developed. It's obvious that reading is not a talent many of these job seekers have. And that human resource agency now takes applications only online. If you can't find your way from power-on to double-click to QWERTY, you won't get a job.

And there's little anyone can do to make up for what you should have learned 10 or 20 years before.

Five years after

This week marks the fifth anniversary of the end of my newspaper career. Early in the afternoon, the publisher walked into my office and told me he was laying me off. He gave me two choices: I could leave immediately and receive two months' severance pay or I could work through the end of the year and not get severance pay. Pretty easy choice. I worked through the end of that day, came in and worked all of the next day and carried my pictures, personal papers and mementos to the car and left.

The newspaper business was falling apart in 2008. I was not the first layoff that fall, and I would not be the last. One colleague got her walking papers the same day I did. Others would follow, particularly older, more experienced, higher-paid, loyal workers.

My second decision was almost as easy as the first. I would not leave Wilson, where we had lived for nearly 30 years, raised our children and settled into a home we loved. My first reaction to the publisher's news was, "I'll lose my house." I spent a month or more catching up on household maintenance that had been ignored as I worked long hours, and I turned to thoughts of what I'd do next. I wanted a new career, not just a job. I made a couple of stabs at self-employment, starting an editing, writing and public relations agency, or starting a free newspaper or news website. Neither came about, and at the end of my severance, I went on unemployment, which proved sufficient to pay the mortgage while I diligently applied for jobs within commuting distance of Wilson. I turned down an offer to edit a daily newspaper, because it would have demanded moving to the city where the paper was located. A newspaper editor has to live in the place he's covering. As my wife, whose job was supporting both of us, pointed out, "There's no point in both of us starting over."

There were hard times, times when I doubted my worth, regretted my 33 years in the newspaper business (29 years at one newspaper), and wondered whether my family and friends would be better off without me. When I finally got a job, a year after the layoff, I put all of that behind me and tried to learn new ways to be useful and make a difference in the community.

Five years later, I am especially grateful to the many former colleagues and old friends who contacted me to express their shock at my fate and to reassure me that I deserved better. Those kind words got me through the worst moments of that year when I fell into despair.

People have asked me whether I miss the newspaper business, and I tell them honestly, yes. It was an exciting, stressful, time-consuming, and often fun time, getting to follow closely the events in the community, getting to know some interesting people, and trying to make sense of the world for readers.

But that world no longer exists, and I am content with where I am, grateful for the past but eager for the future.

"Fixed income" complaint lacks firepower

You used to hear it all the time: "I'm on a fixed income and ... ." The complaint came almost exclusively from retirees commenting on some new tax increase or price hike.

That complaint is less common now because most people can claim to be on a "fixed income." Over the past five years, annual pay increases have disappeared for large numbers of workers. Even some government workers, who once could rely on a 3 to 5 percent pay "cost of living" increase or a "merit" raise, are now facing flat wages or even reduced take-home pay as cities, counties and states begin charging employees for part of the cost of health care or retirement reserves. Many private industries have imposed a wage freeze as a means of reducing costs while avoiding layoffs. Other industries have resorted to layoffs to cut costs, and some unionized companies (look at the auto industry) have actually reduced pay rates.

So the complaint that "I'm on a fixed income" no longer generates the sympathy it once did. The "fixed income" assertion was often not accurate anyway. Since the 1970s, Social Security has incorporated an automatic cost-of-living increase that, in most years, increased monthly benefits. Only when inflation was very low were Social Security benefits "fixed" from year to year. Some pension plans and annuities are truly "fixed" — they pay the same monthly rate year after year, but Social Security has been annually adjusted to match the rate of inflation and eliminate loss of "real" income.

The "fixed income" complaint has lost steam largely because there are millions of unemployed workers who would love to be on a "fixed income" or any other kind of income. Millions of others have taken lower-paying jobs in order to escape unemployment. As one of the latter category, I would love to have had my income "fixed" at what it was five years ago, when it was capped by a company wage freeze.

Payroll tax exemption could boost economy

This Labor Day weekend, there are about 15 million Americans who are unemployed, and job growth is stagnant as economists predict the possibility of a "double dip" recession or a slowdown that lingers for years and years. In his Saturday radio address, President Obama pledged to place renewed emphasis on the economy and jobs. In times like these, Americans expect more from their presidents than they can deliver and blame them for more than they have caused. Both Presidents Bush found themselves blamed for economic problems they didn't create and couldn't solve, the same dilemma Obama is in now.

The economic stimulus Obama proposed had a positive effect on the economy, most economists agree, but could not overcome the many underlying problems. So jobs are still hard to come by, and the housing market has not recovered. Talk of a new stimulus is being viewed skeptically by voters and by members of Congress. Unease over budget deficits and the federal debt is affecting the debate over the expiration of Bush tax cuts and the over any new economic initiatives.

So what's the answer? Robert Reich, who was President Clinton's secretary of labor, is proposing an appealing new approach. Reich points out that 80 percent of Americans pay more in payroll taxes (which fund Social Security and Medicare and are applied to the first dollar earned) than they do in income taxes (whose deductions and exemptions ignore the first several thousand dollars of income). He proposes a one-year moratorium on payroll taxes for the first $20,000 of income. This would be offset by applying the payroll tax to incomes above $250,000. Under current law, the payroll tax ends at $106,000 in income. Reich says his proposal would be revenue neutral — the loss of revenue from lower-income workers would be replaced by revenue from those earning more than $250,000 in salaries.

His plan would increase consumer spending because workers would see all of their first $20,000 in income in their paychecks, not the $18,470 they now receive after payroll taxes are taken out. Employers would also save $1,530 on the first $20,000 in salaries they pay their workers, and that would make it cheaper to create new jobs and hire workers. Companies with employees earning over $250,000 would take a hit on the employer match for those workers, but nearly all companies would come out ahead.

It sounds like a solid plan to me. It would have no net effect on Social Security and Medicare, and it would almost certainly put an economic boost into the hands of consumes and small businesses. Why limit it to one year?

A personal endorsement for jobless benefits

Today's news is all about how the Democrats in the Senate are going to garner enough votes to pass an extension of unemployment benefits. Republicans have fought the proposal because, they say, it will make the gargantuan budget deficit even worse.

The Republicans' concern for the deficit is one I've shared for decades and continue to share today. But my experience last year with the unemployment insurance system made me a big fan of, and forever grateful for, this "safety net" for people who are out of work through no fault of their own. When my brief severance pay expired, I signed up for unemployment and managed to make house payments with my unemployment benefits. Without that monthly direct deposit into my checking account, I would have dipped deeply into household savings and despair. Depression is a natural consequence of losing a job, having your routine and lifestyle wrenched out from under you. A government check to allow the unemployed time to search for a job, perhaps learn new skills and keep a roof over their heads does the individual and the economy a world of good. How much worse would consumer spending be if the unemployed had no income at all?

Jobless benefits cannot go on forever, but this recession has been especially brutal. People have been unemployed longer this time than in any previous post-war recession. An extension of unemployment provides benefits to the individual and to the economic recovery. This program can mean the difference between financial stability and suicide. The budget deficit looms and must be addressed, but not at the expense of the worst-injured casualties of this recession.

Happy 500 blog posts to me ...

Five Hundred. That's the number of blog posts I've written since Oct. 7, 2008, less than a week after I was laid off from a newspaper career spanning more than 30 years. I was one of thousands of journalists turned out by newspapers, broadcasters and other news media as revenues tanked in 2008. I started the blog as an outlet for my opinions and a means of keeping in touch with folks who had read my ramblings for years. This is the 500th entry in Erstwhile Editor, the blog that took up where my former Downing Street blog left off (and was summarily killed by the newspaper that had encouraged me to write it; it no longer exists in cyberspace).

To mark this occasion (I won't call it auspicious), I thought I'd look back at my blog posts, relive some of the news events or emotions that prompted those posts, and share with the few readers still turning to this blog on occasion some of the more memorable posts. I thought I'd compile a sort of "best of" the first 500 blog entries by Erstwhile Editor. But after spending nearly an hour just looking through the three months of entries in 2008, I decided covering the entire 22 months of blogging might be more ambitious a project than I want to tackle tonight.

Those first 91 entries in 2008 set the tone I had promised in my first post — random thoughts and analysis about politics, newspapers, literature, family and life. I wrote a good bit at first about being laid off. It was a new experience for me, but I was determined not to be bitter or vengeful. I found some quiet beauty in the solitude of an empty house during the workday. And I found some awkward moments when people expressed shock that I was no longer at the paper. But after several weeks, I fell into a new routine and had to remind myself not to get too comfortable. Losing a job, even with the support of family of friends, is traumatic, and I wrote about that, too. I gradually became accustomed to a new role with my wife as the breadwinner.

I also wrote about the profession I had given my working life to. I was sad, both personally and professionally, about the demise of newspapers. I still read the newspaper daily, but the news from the world of journalism was not good in 2008. Both national newspapers and local publications ran into trouble at the end of 2008. And while it seemed everyone else was getting a stimulus or a tax break, newspapers weren't.

But one unexpected topic got a lot of my attention at the end of 2008. My best friend from high school was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor a few months before I was laid off. I drove nearly 400 miles in one day to see him, bedridden by then, and share memories. Later, unexpectedly, I received the dreaded news. Days later, I drove down for the memorial service and shared more memories with people I'd lost track of over the years. This blog took a turn I had not expected when I started, but I wanted to write about life, and death is part of that. I attended another funeral during those last months of 2008. It was sad but uplifting and inspiring, setting just the right tone for a requiem for a man of faith.

I followed the 91 posts of 2008 with 294 in 2009. I slowed down a bit when I took a job near the end of that year (after a year out of work), but I've still managed to write 500 blog posts in less than two years. I never had pretensions or great hopes for this blog, and it has lived up to low expectations. It was little more than an outlet for my thoughts and opinions. In that regard, 500 posts and 22 months later, it has served its purpose.

Recession's impact extends to society

The recovery is upon us. Long live the recovery.

But not so fast. Recent articles are predicting that this recession that is officially, statistically in the past, might linger for years, even a decade. The New York Times is proclaiming the arrival of what it calls "the new poor." Long term unemployment — meaning more than six months — is at the highest level ever recorded. The United States has kept track of this statistic since 1948. In January, 6.3 million Americans were in the long-term unemployed category. For people who are unemployed for a long time, the job market is increasingly frustrating. And a long period of unemployment raises doubts in the minds of potential employers. "If this guy was any good, why hasn't he found a job before now?"

In a long and depressing article, the march Atlantic magazine peers into the economic future and sees gloom and doom. Writer Don Peck points out that there is more at stake here than a few economic statistics. Long-term unemployment and under-employment can transform society. Some cities may become hopelessly dysfunctional because of a lack of jobs. When people are out of work for a long time and their government benefits give out, they turn to whatever they can to survive, including robberies, larcenies and drug dealing. Lingering unemployment will affect the institution of marriage, Peck says. Men don't think about marriage, and women don't want to marry them, when they're unemployed. Unemployment is already affecting marriage and relationships. Men accustomed to being breadwinners are disproportionately affected by this recession. Their self-esteem and self-worth are damaged, and this affects their relationships with wives and girlfriends. In some areas, marriage might fade away among a working class frustrated and embittered by the lack of jobs.

The recovery from each recession over the past 20 years has been slow to rebuild the jobs that were lost, and job growth has slowed more with each recovery. We're almost certainly going to face unemployment in the high single digits for the 2010 and 2012 elections, and these numbers will have political repercussions. Jobs will be harder to find, especially for older males in declining industries, and those available will go only to the well-prepared and most fortunate. Unless new tax and tariff policies bring back some of the manufacturing jobs that have been lost to foreign competitors, there seems to be little hope of keeping the social fabric knit together.

The rending of the social fabric and the loss of communitarian identity and involvement, which has already begun, is even more frightening than a double-digit unemployment rate.

Unemployment has psychological impact

The Sunday headline reads: "Long-time jobless fight rejection, fear, despair." Tell me about it.

Even four months into a new job, I still feel the impact of a year without a job. Early on, I had confided that I considered changes in a job to which I had devoted almost half my life to be a test of character, and I swore that I would not be bitter. But that's easier said than done, especially as the weeks dragged into months and all of the job applications and hopeful contacts turned up nothing. And for the jobless of a certain age (say, 50 or older), discrimination is tangible but unprovable.

There were times when I felt grateful for the many words of commiseration and encouragement I received, but there were also times of deep despair when my frustration got the better of me. There were days when my mood ranged from homicidal to suicidal, but, fortunately, those days were few and never led to any rash action.

But the point of Sunday's story is well taken: Unemployment is more than a financial predicament; it's a mental health issue. Despair is a cloak that is easy to slip into. Frustration comes often. Discouragement is always lurking at the door. Self-esteem sinks like a lead weight. Confidence crumbles. Only the support of family and friends allowed me to bear the disappointment and disillusionment. Others have a harder time than I. In a nation that has lost 7 million jobs, many have been out of work longer than the year I endured. Jobs will come back slowly, but self-esteem and self-confidence will be even slower to recover. It's not just the money.

New career begins with one week

Yes, after 54 weeks without a job, I have completed one whole week back in the working world. Such transitions are not easy. I keep reminding myself that the chores I've been performing around the house now have to wait until the weekend (unless, of course, the weekend is spoken for). Having whole weekdays to do such work can be habit-forming.

One week is hardly enough time to develop a routine, but I've spent the week looking through files, reading manuals, meeting people and generally trying to figure out how best to do this job. It's a process not that different from other transitions to new jobs, except that I haven't done this type of job before, and it's been almost 30 years since the last time I went to work for a new employer.

My first week on the job, I've met a few of the volunteers, who are the strength of the organization. I've read the employee manual. I've driven the company van to Kinston and parked it without running into anything. I've hung a few personal pictures and plaques on the office walls. I've tried to get used to the computer system and the phone system, and I've made plans to relocate the computer so that I can use it without twisting my spine or bumping my knees. I've scheduled at least one meeting and greeted lots of people.

And I've fielded numerous e-mails, notes, voice mails, visits and phone calls from people wishing me well in my new career. That response has been especially gratifying after a year of unemployment, when it's easy to lose focus and confidence. I'm glad to be working again, and I am especially appreciative of those who have expressed delightful joy at the news.

This blog has served its purpose

I began this blog Oct. 7, 2008, a few days after being unceremoniously laid off by the newspaper for which I had worked for 29 years. There was little comfort in knowing I was not the only one being shown the door, nor was there any comfort later when more former colleagues were also dismissed. As the "about me" section says, I started this blog to fill my need to write and to express opinions. Although I'm still waiting to be recognized as a "blog of note" by Blogger or to reach triple digits of "followers," I have filled my need to write. Posting to this blog has shaped the start of my day as I checked headlines, thought about life and pondered what it means to be an unemployment statistic. I have attracted a few readers. The (invisible) counter I use says about 2,000 unique visitors per month look at this blog. That's not an impressive statistic, but it's something.

One of the important aspects of blogging is simply showing up. You need to blog daily, or more often, to give your audience a reason to keep coming back. With more than 350 posts in just over a year, I've been here almost every day, and I've enjoyed it. As I told students when I was teaching English many years ago, writing helps you to think. Organizing your thoughts and putting them down on paper (or the computer screen) forces you to think about your assertions and defend them. That process, day after day, has been an outlet and a learning process for me.

I'm happy to report that my 382 days of joblessness end Monday. I begin a new job, a new career, a new schedule, a new focus, a new commitment and new responsibilities. Although I have no intention of abandoning this blog, it will have to take a lower priority. I might not be posting early each morning. I might not be posting every day. If that weakens its impact and reduces its audience, it can't be helped.

I started this blog to help me keep in the practice of writing every day while I searched for a new job. Having found a job, I have less need for this blog. Several people have told me they read this blog regularly. I hope they will continue to do so — and to understand if my posts are less frequent. I've enjoyed blogging and plan to continue doing it as much as I can.

One full year out of work

It's been a year. One year ago today was my last day at The Wilson Daily Times. I never thought I'd be unemployed for three months, much less for a year. But here I am. I've survived it all — the shock, the loss of confidence, the frustration, the bouts of depression, the anxieties, the doubts about the present and the future, the feelings of hopelessness. I've also experienced the emotional support of friends and family, the recognition of strangers who had seen my mugshot in the paper and were sorry I was gone, the reassurances of loved ones and former colleagues, and the near-miraculous juxtaposition of frugality and good fortune that has allowed my wife and me to get through the past 12 months without dipping far into our savings. I told my wife recently that it's a miracle that her income and my unemployment have covered our expenses. "It's like the loaves and fishes," she said, and I agreed.

I started this blog to feed my habit of writing about things that go on around me. It's been a useful and sometimes cathartic release valve. I've also spent a lot of time writing fiction, about 200,000 words or more in various forms over the past year. Now if I could only find a literary agent or publisher ...

At least one of the co-workers who was laid off along with me has found a job. Many others haven't. This job market is tough!

People have asked, plaintively, how I'm doing. What they want to know but cannot ask is whether we're eating regularly and paying the bills. "I'm fine," I tell them, and that's true. I've become accustomed to the new routine. I'm a full-time houseboy and yard man, a part-time writer, part-time volunteer in five different nonprofit organizations, a cook and grocery shopper, a home-maintenance handyman, a dog walker, a regular applicant to jobs posted in various places, and — most of the time — a man who is transcendentally grateful for family, friends, home and life itself. Being laid off is a terrible experience, I think anyone would tell you, but life is good.

• • •

I have avoided this decision for the past year but today I felt compelled to eliminate anonymous comments to this blog. A few people, hiding behind anonymity, felt entitled to insult people or make vile comments they'd never say face-to-face. From now on, readers will have to register to leave a comment. Registration is simple, so don't be discouraged. I hope the result of this change will be not a loss of exchange of opinions but a more civil discussion.

Unemployment makes dismal Labor Day

Labor Day 2009 offers little incentive for celebration. This summer-ending holiday comes amid the worst economic downturn in more than half a century. The national unemployment rate is 9.7 percent. North Carolina's rate is even higher.

Since the downturn began last year, almost 7 million jobs have been lost. What is more disturbing is the fact that a third of the jobless have been unemployed for more than six months. This marks a post-World War II high. If you look at who is unemployed, the picture grows bleaker. Older workers (those who have an especially hard time landing a new job, despite federal laws against age discrimination) have been particularly hard-hit by this recession, as have male breadwinners. It's not just the peripheral jobs — the positions added when things were sailing along smoothly — that have been eliminated, it's the core jobs that make a company's clockwork tick.

And although the stock market has begun to rebound, the economy is still shedding jobs. It's supposed to be good news that fewer jobs were eliminated last month than in previous months. Try to tell that to laid-off workers.

Sunday morning, the prescribed liturgy offered this prayer in recognition of the Labor Day Weekend: "We pray that all who labor receive just compensation, that the unemployed find meaningful work, and that all employers create workplaces where justice, fairness, and equity thrive. Hear us, O God." Divine intervention: It's all we have left.

Life's rhythms can change

Want to know the scary thing about being unemployed for months on end? I'm getting used to it.

I'm one of nearly 7 million Americans who have lost their jobs, so there are a lot of us who have been getting used to it. Many of us have been idled for months and have adjusted to this new reality.

I had been accustomed to a certain rhythm of life — arriving at the office by 7 a.m., writing a quick blog post, diving into the day's news budget, editing copy, laying out pages or supervising their layouts, talking to reporters, all leading to the mad rush toward the late morning deadline. Then there would be time to write editorials, plan news coverage, catch up with messages, attend meetings, discuss news with other editors or reporters, gliding toward a late-afternoon decision that I had done all I had to do that day, checking off items on my to-do list and knowing the other items could wait. I'd start over in the morning.

Despite not spending nine or 10 hours at the office, I've found ways to fill my day. Hunting for a job, especially in this economy, is time-consuming. One day last week, I spent an hour hunting the Internet for a job to apply to and then spent another two hours filling out the long, complicated application form. Did it do me any good? Doesn't look like it.

I'm also writing — for my own amusement if nothing else. I'm keeping house — cooking, grocery shopping, cleaning (hoping to meet my wife's standards, or at least come close) — and maintaining the yard, spreading the hot outdoor work across a couple of weekdays instead of piling it all into a Saturday. I'm volunteering with some nonprofit organizations, attending meetings, doing some legwork, writing or editing, doing some planning, driving here and there. All combined, it fills the day, but in a fluid, changeable way. Want to meet with me? I can offer any number of options almost any day of the week; most of my plans are quite flexible. I don't mind putting off mowing the grass or vacuuming the downstairs. And I can always find another hour to write.

In the first decade of our marriage, when I went to work every day and my wife stayed home with our preschool children, it seemed to me to be an excellent division of labor. She did what she truly enjoyed, nurturing the children, baking, indulging in a couple of creative hobbies, keeping the house in shape — all a part of expressing her love for our children and for me. And I went to work, often for long hours, including some nights and weekends, persuading myself that my children would, in the long run, understand my absence. Now our roles are reversed, and I am at home, but without the responsibilities of watching over young children, while she works the long hours to support both of us. I would never wish for this role — except jokingly when my wife first returned to the labor force — but I do not feel emasculated by it. I do not have to earn more than my wife to be a "real man."

But I have become used to this new, somewhat variable rhythm to my life, which is more of an improvisational interlude than a smooth melody. Assuming that I one day find a job and return to work, I will have to readjust to that fixed rhythm of life, that quickened staccato of deadlines and crises. Nine months ago, I might have adjusted smoothly and quickly to a new work environment, a new rhythm of labor, a new career. Now, the change will seem more abrupt, like a missed chord or an off beat, but I'll make the change. I am tired of being, as I've joked several times, a "kept man." I'm ready to get back in the groove.

Signs of economic recovery will not help everyone

The Dow-Jones Industrial Average topped 9,000 at Thursday's closing after lingering in the 6,000s just a few weeks ago. Even my second-quarter 401(k) statement looked healthier, though it's a long, long way from recovering the investment I had in it 15 months ago. And with no income to invest in the 401(k), any recovery in its value will be slow and slight.

Housing seems to have bottomed out, and corporate profits are exceeding analysts' expectations. So why am I — and millions of others like me — still unemployed? The national unemployment rate is pushing 10 percent, and North Carolina's rate is holding steady around 11 percent, even though at least one economist has said the state's rate could top out above 13 percent.

It's the nature of a recession that sales and profits recover before rehiring ever begins. Owners and managers want to make sure that revenues will hold up before they add new expenses. Speaking of which, a new minimum wage law went into effect today, and that extra expense could stagger the feeble economic recovery. The wage goes up to $7.25 today, and struggling businesses will have to absorb that expense. Keep an eye on the "dollar menu" at your favorite fast-food joint. The restaurants were making little or nothing on those items anyway, but a higher minimum wage will likely result in fewer cheap items or a higher price. The additional income for low-wage earners is not likely to have a significant macro-economic impact. The $1,400 or so a full-time minimum wage worker will gain is likely to go toward basic necessities, not economy-boosting major purchases. Still, it will be a welcome change for struggling workers.

Meanwhile, North Carolina legislators seem intent on raising taxes in the midst of a recession. Although Gov. Bev. Perdue squelched Democratic legislators' new-taxes-for-everyone formula, she still favors higher taxes. More taxes will drag down any economic recovery.

My former profession has been waiting for the housing market to bottom out. Newspaper executives want to get real estate ads back on their printed pages and recover some of the revenues they've lost since the housing bubble burst. But that might not happen. This blog post by respected blogger Alan D. Mutter (Newsosaur), predicts that Realtors will forgo print advertising in the future; the loss of real estate ads will be permanent, no matter what the housing market might do, he says. Car ads, another cash cow for newspapers in their heyday, could go the same way. It's easy to hunt for cars on the Internet, both at dedicated ad sites like Cars.com and at dealers' sites. If automotive and real estate ads don't come back, any economic recovery in the newspaper business will be slow and minuscule.

Not that I was job-hunting in the newspaper industry anyway.

A rejection is not a personal note

The 4- by 5-inch ivory-colored envelope arrived looking like a socially correct invitation or personal note. The first indication that it was something less than that was the postage meter stamp in the upper right-hand corner. Then there was the return address, with logo, of an organization that had advertised a job recently. I also noted that my name and address were printed on an address label that did not match the color of the envelope.

When I slit open the envelope, I found what appeared, again, to be a social note, neatly folded with the organization name and logo in a bright, distinctive color. Unfolding the note, I found a mass-printed rejection without any illusion of personal correspondence, just a form letter with a signature preprinted from a name in the Human Resources Department. It read: "Your resume and qualifications have been reviewed and while your credentials are certainly impressive, we have other candidates whose experience and qualifications more closely match our organization's needs. Thank you. Good luck with your job search."

The wording was reminiscent of the preprinted rejection slips sent to authors by publishers returning an unsolicited manuscript: "We regret that your manuscript does not meet our current needs." Non-judgmental. Not too harsh. Not critical. Simply a matter of a mismatch of needs.

Having been on the other side of this hiring dance dozens of times over my newspaper career, I can appreciate the awkwardness of telling people they didn't make the cut. But I never adopted a form letter (OK, I never had all that many applicants to reject, either). I always made a phone call or wrote a personal letter or e-mail. It might have said essentially the same thing the preprinted form I received said, but it was addressed to one person and was personally signed, and the language, if not oozing sincerity and empathy, was at least not boiler-plate.

In a deep recession such as this one, job seekers get used to rejection. Either applications and resumes are sucked into a black hole and are never heard from again, or a polite response informs the applicant that his/her qualifications do not match the description of the ideal candidate. Or an initial screening interview leads to nowhere. I've collected in a file the written rejections I've received (my favorite, an e-mail about an online job, said the company received more than 1,000 applications), but I have lost count of those that simply never acknowledged my application. A note rejecting an application is better than ignoring the application altogether, but, please, don't try to soothe the pain of a rejection by masquerading that rejection as a personal note. I'm not sure I'd want to work for an organization that is so disingenuous.

Unemployment rate keeps on climbing

Yes, I've been away, not from home but from the computer keyboard. I took the weekend off from blogging (did anybody notice), but now I'm back.

It seems I didn't miss a lot. There were no earth-shattering news events over the weekend, leaving time for a little yard work in the heat and a little relaxation with my wife. Oh — and a quick trip to Chapel Hill to help our daughter continue unpacking from her move.

At the end of last week, the state released unemployment figures for May: 13.6 percent of the Wilson County work force is unemployed. The Wilson Times reports that the county's jobless rate has not been so high since the 1990s, peaking above 14 percent in 1993. Because unemployment is known as a trailing economic indicator — i.e., rehiring doesn't begin until after the economy has turned around — you have to wonder whether the jobless rate has peaked. Although there are some glimmers of hope in the economic numbers, there has been no clear evidence of a sustained upswing. It's conceivable that Wilson County's jobless rate could rise further, maybe even reaching 15 percent (a level already reached in neighboring Edgecombe County) before this is all over.

Scotland County, where my daughter lived until this month, again leads the state in unemployment with a rate of 17.2 percent. That number is approaching the jobless rate in the Great Depression. Although no reliable figures are available, it has been estimated that unemployment during the 1930s ran around 25 percent. My parents, who grew to maturity during the Depression, used to wistfully recall the days when "nobody had any money."

Modern unemployment statistics are known to underestimate the true level of unemployment. The official unemployment figures each month count the number of people who are out of work and actively looking for jobs. (Look at me: I'm a statistic!) But there are others who have given up on finding a job or who have settled for less of a job than they wanted and were qualified to hold. During a prolonged downturn like this, many frustrated unemployed workers give up on "finding" a job and decide to "create" one by going into business for themselves. That's viable for many people, but few new businesses turn a profit at the outset, so the unemployed-turned-entrepreneurs often face months, even years, of struggling through little or no income as they try to get their new businesses off the ground. And the failure rate for new businesses is daunting — as high as 60 percent or more, depending on how the rate is measured — so entrepreneuring can be tougher than job hunting. And any new business started in this economy is born with a severe handicap.

I'm now nine months into my life of unemployment, a stretch many times longer than I had ever imagined. This experience has given me a new empathy for the people behind the unemployment statistics and a new appreciation for unemployment insurance. I'm still in the market, still looking for that new career that will give shape to my weekdays and a new mission to my labors. I'm looking for my new vocation, a term rooted in the Latin word voca, or voice. A vocation is a calling, and, like millions of other people behind the statistics, I'm waiting to hear from mine.

It's a long drive to a dead end

I drove to Raleigh last week to interview for a job with the state. I thought it went pretty well. I had the experience required to do the job. I answered all the questions and provided writing samples. Today, it looks like I won't be asked back for a second interview. The agency was going to wrap up initial interviews Monday morning and make a decision on finalists immediately after that. Looks like I didn't make the cut.

When I told my wife that, she said she wasn't sorry. She wants me to get a job, but not one that involves two hours of commuting each day. I wasn't looking forward to the commuting, either, but I was willing to do it in order to get a job, especially a fairly stable and lucrative one with the state.

So today I am back to Square One: No job prospects on the horizon and an increasing sense of frustration and futility. There is little comfort in the knowledge that I am not alone.

Monday, Monday comes around again

Don't you hate Mondays? For most people in the working world, Monday is that dreaded day when the weekend is really over. For people in the non-working world, Monday has a different kind of dread. It is the day that hits you with the fact that another week has rolled around and you still don't have a job.

It's a day when depression lurks closer and hopelessness rises in your throat. It's the day when reality confirms that you are different. You are not part of the parade of vehicles leaving the neighborhood carrying people to their jobs. You are on the sideline, watching the parade go by, hearing the quiet after a weekend of busy things to do and places to go. While others scurry off to work, you stay at home and try to fill your day with productive activities. A to-do list gives a sense of purpose. Several gardening/yard work tasks fill my list for today. Tuesday will be a continual series of meetings. The hours of each day will fill with tasks and projects, always setting aside time for the primary objective — a job.